Really worked the old guy over in 'Nam. Looks like he must have fallen on a lot of grenades or something. Looks like 40 years worth of shrapnel in that one's jaws. I need a drink.

What is your favorite scent or smell and why?  sandalwood. it just makes me feel good.
Submitted by Nebraska Plates.

Today is Martin Luther King Jr. Day.  What's your strongest memory or impression of King's contributions? theres a man who believed in his actions and words so much that he didn't hesistate to die so that they may be etched into the hearts and minds of all with ears enough to truly listen and eyes to really see. he gave millions hope and inspiration when many thought all was lost. a man worth remembering, a man impossible to forget.

Why is everything so fucking good?

How do you feel about your birthday?  Do you look forward to it and remind all your friends, or do you dread it and try to keep it a secret? It is what it is. I don't care much for the celebrations. I can't however but appreciate anyone who acknowledges my existence any time of year.

It is not that I fear you but rather I value the importance of my legs.

The seventh season of "American Idol" premieres tonight.  Will you be watching, or are you over it? nyet.

How shameful and saddening it would be if you were to collect the fate of those who before you also held the key to the space traveler. Some are so content to allow us only the would be luxury of a hot air balloon so we can attempt to hug the clouds and pet flying birds on their heads. Content to let you dream but never do. Tyranny, is a fellow who lives down the street and he bleeds just like everyone else. Gunther, I say, remove your shackles and do. Hijack the space traveler and start a colony on the moon.

And you shall know him as Gunther.

"The next time you see me," he said, "you had better bring some jam."

Johnny walked. Johnny smiled. Johnny stopped and Johnny turned. The fact that he did so only after stopping must be stressed. "Fuck you say, dude, I better bring some jam?! You don't be telling me what to do because nobody tells me what to do, dig?! I suppose the next thing you'll be ordering me to do is to choose a certain flavor, huh?!"

"Ah, boyle, you're catching on Johnny, I say. Catching on real swell. Bring along something especially cherry."

"There you go trying to order me about, again. I told you not to do that."

"Do it now, I say. Or the toast will go down dry."

"And whose making toast, you poot sniffer, you?! Yeah, I know all about it."

"How, I wished you'd leave such private matters to more enclosed environments. But not to stray too far from more pressing concerns, you, if you must know, will make the toast and spread the jam and do it with a smile, or your other testicle will rest on my platter alongside the omelette that you are also going to make."

Johnny stared. Johnny turned. Johnny walked away.

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