Quoting this one coz this is what I always think about. But I dont want to change the fact that I fell in love with Zahed :). Perhaps if I can turn back time, I would have get myself to express my feelings 5 years earlier and would have not wasted 5 years with the worng guys and keep going to Zahed when I feel down :p
"You know when there are times, you will be wondering if you could turn back time, you would change the path that you have taken" by ARZ
I've been having mixed feelings lately. With so many things happening in my life its quite hard to cope with. I've been having trouble trying to focus while driving. Its like staring blankly on the road. Too many things to think about and yet nothing that I can think off. it's like my brain just cant take it anymore.
I felt dark on this bright sunny morning.Seriously, I've never felt this way before. It felt like there are black clouds covering the sky and when I look into the window it's bright and sunny. I dont know if this makes any sense to you.
I followed zahed to his parents place yesterday and I saw his mum lying on the sofa in front of the TV half asleep. She had that hot water bag on her tummy. I know that she's having those pains but I know she wont change her mind. I feel sorry for her. I know she made that decision because of us. It's her son's wedding. First wedding for her family, why would she want to miss it??!!sigh
I feel sorry for my mum too, she's getting over worried over the wedding things. She's worrying about the smallest things. She hasnt compleately healed from her last operation and now she's worrying bout my wedding. Honestly I cant wait to get it over with. It's driving everbody nuts!!lol, that's just part of the reason, another part is coz I just cant wait for me and Zahed to be husband and wife :)
happiness seems to be short term for me lately. Im happy to find my old classmate and thought that we could share our interest in photography but she's leaving this month. Im happy to meet my dorm mate cum bed mate cum bestie and found out she's in Adelaide and I wont be seeing her til October. Im happy for talking a friend into photography, she now have other photography friends who's much better than me.edited-> what I meant was, I am happy for her to meet new friends it's just that now she thinks that Im not good enough to advice her..not that I am, it's just that dont just shut me off instantly... i dunno maybe I'm over reacting sigh
Honestly I have done a lot of thinking after my cousin's death.It's so shocking when you lose someone who's so young. Makes you realise that your time can be any time. I cry at times when I think about him, about the whole thing. It's scary how life works and I havent been a good person for a while. dont get me wrong I am a decent person but not a good Muslim as I should be.i know I can do better.
Too much of complaining? sorry..:p oh well, one thing I know is im happy to have you voxers as neighnours. seriously your word of encouragement really helps. It feels like I've known you guys for a long time. I even talk about you guys to Zahed everyday after work. LOL . LOVE YA PEEPS
I am not a good person when it comes to keeping in touch. With that I've lost a lot of valuable friendship along the way. And once I get in touch, I find myself crying.
Today I've successfuly contacted an old friend whom I met on my first day in Uni, whom I look up at as a sister of mine. I remember the first day, we were on some sort of induction where handphones were not allowed and she was the only one who brought handphone. and she lend me her hp for me to contact my mum.She taught me how to use the public transport around Kuala Lumpur. Gosh I miss those days....I miss her truly.... but Im glad there's internet :)
ok I think I've flooded u guys with so many photos already for today. perhaps I'll continue another time :) love ya!
Hates
1.People taking their own sweet time in the bathroom when you're in a hurry.
2.Work
3.Being sleepy at work
4.My friend not being here(she's in Sabah for her honeymoon)
5.I've just met a long lost friend and she's leaving to Australia in 1 week.
6.Filling the fuel tank
7.People promising to pay and never pay you but still have money for something else less important.
Loves
1. Meeting an old classmate in Uni on the internet.
2. Getting a friend from office to be interested in Photography and she's gonna buy a DSLR
3.1 month left til my wedding
4.All my shoes repaired!
5.Having more friends to talk to on photog
6.My Supportive neighbourhood!
Didnt get to snap photos for her reception as I had to follow Zahed to his medical Check up. So here are the photos
this one was snapped by Zahed using my pentax.
And the Beetle that drove the newlywed to the wedding location :p
and Aiza's dad's beetle
ok off for lunch bye
Unedited :p
there are more photos and I'll continue later k. the files are huge. :p
Dear Voxers,
I promised you guys that I'd post the photos today but I dont think that I can do it 2day. The whole news is very shocking to me and Im counting hours to go pick up Zahed and head straight to Batu Pahat. I cant leave my office yet coz they dont practice half day and cousin is not immediate family.sigh!!
Perhaps I'll give you updates 2moro k. thank you for my very caring and nicest neighborhood. take care
Love ya
Leila
Some of the photos I promised. I'll post more later k :)
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